Until last night I hadn't had a soda since early June. I wanted to see what it would be like to take something out of my diet that I knew was bad for me, and I wanted to see if I could do it.
Well, I did it, and I saw the results. Last night I wanted to see something different. I wanted to see what it would be like to go back. Not on some kind of soda bender, just one soda and I wanted to see what impact it would have on me.
I didn't commit myself to giving up soda for my whole life, so I don't feel bad that I drank a soda. I don't feel like I "fell off the wagon" and I don't feel like I gave into temptation. I want to be able to have all these things I want to eat and drink, i just want to not need them, I want to be able to eat right and eat healthy and at times have these other things that I know aren't so healthy for me.
After the first few weeks I noticed some pretty serious changes. My insomnia started to lessen a bit, quite a bit at times. My weight stopped fluctuating so much, it hasn't really helped me lose weight, but it doesn't go up and down like it used to.
Ultimately over the course of 5 months I gave up more than just soda, I gave up caffeine as well. That wasn't the initial intention, but I had coffee sometime in late june and it completely destroyed me. I couldn't sleep well into the night. It felt so much more potent, and I thought that while useful, it shouldn't be a regular thing. So in the past 5 months I've had (before last night) no soda except for what was in a few mixed drinks at a bar. I've had two coffee's, I've seriously reduced my intake of high fructose corn syrup, I drink a ton of juice now (I generally pick 100% juices, and I do my best to stay away from things with high fructose corn syrup as a main ingredient).
Its been good, I really feel like I did well beyond my expectations.
So I bought myself a code red mountain dew yesterday, I think I drank it right around 2pm. I really enjoyed it and I didn't feel any different about my test. I made sure to try this test on a weekend because I knew I would probably pick something with caffeine Turns out that was a good idea because I am writing this at 5am on Sunday morning and I am still completely wired. I'm honestly contemplating watching the last four episodes of the final season of Entourage before I go to bed.
I think my 5 month long test is finally over. I'm going to continue to not drink soda very often, thats just the way I want to live now. I will from time to time, but its not going to be an every day, every week or even an every month kind of thing, its going to be rare and its going to be because I want to, not because its there or because I crave it.
The next change will be even harder, but we're already making progress on it. We've been trying to grocery shop better, and make more dinners at home. Its been working out some of the time, we've definitely reduced the amount of dinners we go out to eat for, but I want to take it a step further and its going to be difficult. I've been eating fast food pretty much on a weekly basis since I was a kid when my mom first started working 2-3 jobs at a time to pay for my spoiled ass.
We've made progress but I need to break that cycle. Need.
Here is where I throw out a whole bunch of confident statements like "i'm going to accomplish this" "no problem" "I won't fail" "nothing can stop me" ultimately I feel like I stand no chance on this one, I feel like I can't commit to this. That doesn't diminish the fact that I need this to happen. I'm going to try, and I think the chances are great that I will fail. but I will try again, and even if I fail again and will try harder and eventually I know that I can break this.
I want to be healthy for myself, for my fiancee, for my children, for my whole family. But the most important reason I want to be healthy is: I hope to have Grandchildren someday, I hope to have Great Grandchildren too. I want to know them, I want to be in their lives, and I can't do that if I die young, I can't do that if I become so unhealthy that I am just a burden on them.
With that as a goal... I can't fail, because when I fail this I don't feel like I am failing myself, I feel like I am failing them. They don't even exist yet. I can look myself in the eyes the morning after, but if these non-existent grandchildren of mine were at my bed side, and I was dying, and missing my chance to share in their life. I just don't want to think about that, I don't want that to happen. It can not happen, I can not let it.
Now to talk about the baby in my house!
Samantha's sister Tossie and her 7 month old son Matthias are here to visit, they've been here over a week now, and will be staying another week. Originally they were going to head home today, but the roads down to Boise weren't the best, I wasn't available to drive, and we don't have our snow tires on. So the plan is next Saturday Which is awesome, because it has been so nice to have a baby around the house again, and Tossie too ofcourse :-).
I don't think I'd changed a diaper in years, but I'm still a pro at it! And bottles and playing with him, its a ton of fun. He is a really well tempered little guy. I've posted a few pictures of the cute little booger on my facebook page.
I also wanted to mention that I accepted a new position at work. I applied for it awhile ago, interviewed awhile ago. Ultimately I was offered the job a couple of weeks ago, but there were some ups and downs with it, some changes were made and I got a new offer on friday, signed it and now I just need to find out when my first day will be.
I am officially a Shipping/Receiving Clerk in the Custom Enclosure Assembly department!
I chose this position for a very specific reason. I want to build something new, I want to make my mark, and I think I can do that in CEA, I know I can. This department is growing extremely fast and this position is brand new. When I first found out they were moving into the new building once it got built, I wrote a short proposal to a supervisor over there briefly outlining my vision for how to manage their Shipping, Receiving and Inventory. That was in December of last year.
They had the same ideas, but they weren't given the resources to actually have a position like that. So they've been making do without. I kept in touch with the supervisor about it and a few months ago they decided to essentially go around the system a bit. The need became too great for a team like this, so they started putting people to work doing it. They had to have essentially the wrong job title, but at least it was starting to form.
When I was first offered the position, there were some concerns, so I couldn't accept the offer. The supervisor went back to HR and after a couple of weeks I finally heard some great news. Because of the little situation with my offer, he was able to go back and actually get them approved to create these new positions and the new job title. After another couple of weeks, I got my new offer and that is that.
I'll be doing some things similar to what I am doing now, I will be doing some new things, and most importantly, I will be in an environment where I am not only encouraged to improve and innovate, but where it is needed. I want to build something special and that is why I'm here.
Its taken me about 40 minutes to write this so far, feels good to put the words down. I'm still wired, so I'm going to watch one more episode of entourage and then I think I might try to lay down.
Caffeine is so much more useful when you don't drink it all the time! :-)
We are entering the Holiday season soon, hope everyone has a great winter, a great Thanksgiving and a great Christmas! Maybe I'll blog again before some of that, but just in case! :-)