What the hell!?! I was sure I did a blog in January at some point. I guess not :-(. Normally I do a blog when the boys leave for a trip (which I did) then I do a blog when they get back. Well, NORMALLY I did several blogs per month, but I havent been on that schedule for awhile.
Before I get too deep into this blog I want to put out there a little info about something I have wanted to do for quite some time. Ive mentioned on several occasions that I want to maybe try to get my Blog published as kind of a memoir geared towards people who identify with the divorce/custody battle struggles I went through, primarily the emotional struggles. I feel my state of mind and the issues I was dealing with are genuinely reflected within the words of my blog.
As I said above, Ive mentioned this on several occasions. Well guess what? mentioning something in my blog doth not make it a reality. So I've taken one simple careful step forward towards reazlizing this, Ive put my feelers out on a few professionals that can hopefully give me some guidance on what to do with what I've got. Im not going to bother asking anyone if they think its a good idea, as I think it is and that is enough for me.
It will need a lot of editing before its complete, but that is not the kind of help I am looking for. At the moment I am looking for advice on exactly how to lay it out, if I should make it a word for word memoir, or if I should go in and write a bit of a cohesive narrative with lots of quotes from my blogs. LOTS of quotes from my blog though, I am still picturing that 2nd possiblity being like 75-80% blog.
There are really a lot of things I could do, which is why I am looking for a little advice and guidance. I am starting with some editors as they dont just sit there and check your english after all.
Im serious about this and I will feel it is a success if only 1 person were to identify with me and my experiences and hopefully feel comfort in knowing they are not alone, or possibly even learn some of the things I have learned. This is not an attempt to teach, but merely a humble attempt to share the experiences that reforged the very man typing out the words you are reading at this very moment. Ok, maybe not so humble! LOL
I am so grateful for the life I have and it just keeps getting better and better. I have an apartment that I mostly like. It could be bigger and cheaper, but I think I would feel that about any place I live! I like my kid's school and their teachers. I have a good job that is paying for me to go to school. I have family and some friends that love me (not that I have friends that dont love me, Im just saying that I dont have all that many friends, but I plan on changing that this year). I have a wonderful girlfriend that... tries.... to put up with all my shit :-). And saving the best for last, I have two of the worlds most wonderful kids in the world.
School is fucking tough! Its not really, its my stupid bullshit inability to manage any kind of working personal schedule that is killing me. I dont fucking do my homework on time and Im really getting frustrated with myself. Im taking some fairly simple classes and making them as hard as possible. Who does that?
Using my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression "I am the Procrastinator".
And its true, I am. I think Ive started working towards fixing it, but the hardest thing on the planet (for me) is forming new habits.
I will succeed at this, nothing will stop me, nothing short of death can. Its too important to me and I need to get that through my thick skull! I can change and the way I handle the boys reading schedule proves it.
I used to think it was best to have them read before bedtime, which is a good time for normal leisure reading. But in order to guarantee that they got their reading practice in, we started reading as soon as we got home. Just today they were both reading some sick words to me and I couldn't be a prouder daddy. Tristan has a natural affinity for it, but Jadon has really struggled. I hate hate to play favorites, but a little part of me feels even more proud of Jadon just because I know how much work he has put into his reading and I can see just how far he has come, fighting every step of the way. I am proud to death of both my boys. If I come away from this parenting thing with anything, I hope it is knowing that my children will grow up knowing how to tackle challenges and how to learn from them and make themselves better.
Tristan's basketball ended before they left for winter break, he had some fun, though one game he did get hit in the face with the ball and get a bloody nose right away. The boys have both started being able to take a hit a little more gracefully, with or without tears they don't freak out anymore unless its really bad.
Jadon just started basketball and it is off the hook. Its so different from the younger age groups. He practices twice a week and then has a game on Sunday. The games last 40 minutes and are divided up into 10 minute quarters. I think the teams get time outs too, but for the most part the clock never stops running except in between quarters.
They use the big scoreboard up on the wall to keep track of the time and the score and stuff, they have 3 refs dressed appropriately and they are requiring the kids to follow even more of the rules. The boys are learning even more about 'How' the game is played and even starting to learn a little strategy.
Jadon's team voted on their team name and ended up with Killer Doughnuts. They played against The Terminators this last weekend in their first game and they lost 12-10. But they probably learned a lot more in that game than in any game or practice from previous years.
I am taking the boys and Samantha to a Cougar Basketball game this coming weekend. The team is pretty young this year, I wasnt expecting much out of them, and they have exceeded my expectations. Unfortunately that means I have been disappointed with them more than I expected, sometimes they do so well that when they do bad it sucks and looks really bad. But they are a young team, with some really nice talent, experience goes a long way.
The year already seems to be filling up like crazy. Basketball and cub scouts keeps me pretty busy through the beginning of the year, then in March Nicole, her mother, her sister and our nephews are coming to visit the boys. She will be here for 4 or 5 days I think.
Tristan's 7th birthday is in march. Can you believe that? My YOUNGEST is going to be 7. Wow. of course Im going to be 30 this year, so anything is imaginable.
We might have his party while his mom is here, its a couple weeks early, but one of the weekends in march after that we are going to try to go down to southern idaho with the boys so that they can meet Samantha's family. Im excited, Samantha's youngest brother is Tristan's age.
The first weekend of April the boys and I are traveling across the state with Samantha and possibly her sister Misty. I took April 1st and 2nd off, we are going to spend a day or two in seattle and 2 or 3 days in Bellingham. We are going to see some cousins and spend several hours at Gameworks in Seattle for Tristan's birthday. I think we will just walk around downtown on that Thursday though, last time we were there I think we rushed ourselves a bit.
Im excited, I love the west side and I cant wait to move back over there when the time is right.
Sometime during the later part of the school year the boys will start Rookie League baseball again, one more thing to keep us all busy busy.
Then ofcourse Im still planning on going to San Diego to celebrate my 30th Birthday, so watch out cause here I come all! The Wild Animal Park. The San Diego Zoo. Seaworld. Lego Land. plus a million different museums I want to check out. Its going to be a blast.
I spoke to Nicole a little bit last night, I probably haven't talked about her very much for awhile. As an update, things can still be a little tense especially when I think about all of the things I have yet to accomplish that I still wish to, like adopting Jadon, having him take on my name, and so on.
We get along alright at times, but then other times we can still be at each others throats in a heartbeat.
Thats why my conversation last night came as a surprise. She told me that even though we still have our differences, she knows how much I love the boys, she knows how much I do for them. She said she appreciates everything I do for them, and she wanted me to know she thinks I am doing a good job with them and that they are lucky to have me. It felt really good to hear, coming from her. I dont seek her approval, far from it, but hearing her acknowledge my hard work and my love for the boys was a great step forward. Even though she had to get off the phone abruptly because her boyfriend entered the room lol.
You know? I think I've said enough for now. Peace out all, have fun watching the Superbowl. We'll be at my moms house watching it this weekend! GO SAINTS!