Tuesday, October 21, 2008

something is bothering me

I have a really weird feeling, Ive only had it for maybe an hour so far, but its really bothering me.

Last week was hell, I think I was really sick the whole week or something, with a fever maybe? I didnt sleep well I felt very out of it, the whole week is a blur. I came back to work today and I had forgotten some of my passwords and stuff, very unlike me.

Fortunately I was better by the weekend. Crystal and I went on our first date, it was a lot of fun. We actually went out to eat at Cyrus O'learys which I haven't been to since I was a kid. She was even more amazing in person than I had imagined, which is really nice. It looks like we will definitly be having a 2nd date, looks like it will be in about 4 weeks or so.

Russ gave his seal of approval as well. Yet another time that he meets a girl I am going out with right before a first date... lol

He was going to be up in Spokane all weekend so we decided to carpool, we stayed at his parents place and I hung out with him the rest of the weekend. He was playing in a tournament and the timing ended up being just right, so I played in it too, very fun weekend overall.

I didnt get a lot of sleep but I felt like a million dollars when I woke up this morning. Felt like that most of the day, even after some crap went down at the end of my shift, I still felt great.

Then about an hour ago that changed. Some things I've been thinking about finally got to me I guess. Concern is what I would call it. I'm getting older, Im a father, things are really starting to click, but then I look to my past and its all falling away. The older generations are not doing so hot.

My grandparents aren't in the best of health, the house they rent was just sold and they have to move.

My great grandma is in the hospital again, this time they don't know what is wrong with her, she is so weak she can barely move and had to be hospitalized. hopefully we will know more tommorrow.

I feel sad, but something else I feel as well as time goes on, I feel as if a torch has been passed on to me.

Anyway, Im going to go to bed. Little earlier than ussual, not really sure what the morning will bring.

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