Monday, September 29, 2008

Im not anal, Im just very specific

Welcome Welcome
Im tired and havent gone through my pics yet, so I will keep this fairly short (but dont hold me to that). Once I get some pics done I will blog again.

Its been a busy week! I would say I haven't gotten as much done with my new apartment as I should have, but that wouldn't be true. What IS true is that I have gotten a significant amount done, way more than I thought, but there is just so much more to do than I had anticipated that despite the amount of work I have done, there is still a large amount of work left.

This is due entirely who I am, I am certain that a majority of people would be done by now, but my need to do things in specific ways and put everything in its specific place... well, if I dont do it now I will procrastinate and never get it done.

I got half way through the boy's bedroom today, its a massive undertaking. If you know how many toys my kids had at my mom's house, well, double it. So I've gone through some of them.

I set up the furniture in their bedroom and essentially put all thier stuff in the middle of the floor in a pile. I have 4 locations I am placing stuff as I go through it: 1) Keep Pile 2) Maybe Keep, depending on if it is complete 3) Give Away 4) Garbage. So far we are on track to keep about half of the items.

As you may recall I ended up doing 40+ loads of Laundry in the first 2 weeks I was in the new place. It was horrid and on average I need to do about 6-7 loads of laundry per week at a normal level.

Anyway, I had set aside everything that was stained or too small, which made up 6 whole totes of clothes. I went through those today and picked out the stained items so I could try and fix them (most came out well) and then I managed to fit the rest into 3 totes, but folded as tight as possible. These are going to be given away.

We went to a Cubscout activity, which I will post pics of when I get the chance this week. It was a lot of fun, the boys did a lot of cool activities (Ill explain them when I have the pics of them in action). The on sucky thing that happened though, is one of our Cubs accidently stepped on a Yellow Jacket nest, Jadon had one fly into his hat and sting him, but the kid who stepped on it got the brunt of their fury. He got stung 6 times, 4 of which were on his neck.

They both survived and pulled out a fun day, it was really nice out all weekend here.

Well, I will post more later this week, but before I go I wanted to mention that I've met someone new. We actually kind of met several months back, and we've talked off and on. Well recently we found ourselves to both be available and we are planning out a date, hopefully the first of many. It has been really nice talking with her this week, she is amazing and very beautiful and she has two beautiful daughters as well. As a note, we have talked about how careful we want to be to not involve either set of kids too early if we do get involved with each other, which is the plan :).

Anyway all, Im off! Have a good week.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Big Update!

Hello Hello

I'm going to start this off by saying this isn't going to be as big of an update as I had planned. I wanted to wait until my Apartment was 100% finished but that's just not going to happen anytime soon. I need to sort through all the kids toys and clothes, I need to sort through all of my old pictures and albums and i need to get all my hobby stuff situated. Fortunately most of that is upstairs so I am going to have the downstairs as done as possible by the end of the weekend.

I would like to just take a moment to thank Firefox, if it wasn't for you I would have misspelled the word Fortunately! LOL. I really do know how to spell "fortunately" it was just a typing error, I swear.

Those of you who knew me while I was going through my divorce know just how hard it was for me to essentially put my entire life on hold to get through the battle. The fact is, I tried to move forward with some things but they would just fall by the way side while Trial after Trial got canceled (Thanks FireFox, now I know that 'canceled' only gets one 'L' and not two). I would just postpone everything until "after" my divorce, but 90 days became 6 months, and then 6 months became a year, and I had already waited a year just to file prior to that.

2 1/2 years later, here I sit. I got a new job the same week I filed for Divorce. Since my divorce ended Ive transfered to a better Department with a bit of a raise. I have a better shift to be able to take care of my boys. And just recently I was given a $2000 per year raise, this was in response to SEL raising the minimum amount of money they give to new hires and we all reaped the benefit of that.

So since my divorce I have improved my job situation quite a bit. As you also know I've moved into my own apartment finally. I signed the lease just 3 months after my divorce ended and I've been officially living here for 2 weeks now. Still lots of work to go but I do have some pictures of my nearly finished living room (take note, once I've gone through all my pictures, several pics will be added to the walls).

I am very nearly done with the kitchen and I will post pictures of that when I am ready. There is really a lot of space in the living room. The main thing I need to get are lamps. I want to add two lamps to the room as the only lighting I have for that room comes from the really bright light at the bottom of the stairs. Unfortunately if that is on then the really bright light at the Top of the stairs is on too, and illuminates the kids room way too much.

The worst thing right now is that I've done over 40 loads of laundry (no joke) in the last two weeks and in order to get anything else done around the house I couldn't keep up with putting everything away. So that is what I will be doing for half the day Sunday, putting Clothes, Blankets, Towels and so on, away.

Here are 3 more pics and then Im moving onto another topic!

Alright, so the job situation has improved, the living situation has improved. Its time to talk about my future. As far as my future with SEL is concerned, I feel like that will be an excellent place for me to work as long as I stay in Pullman.

I am in talks with a school right now to start taking online coarses and working towards a Bachelor of Science in Business degree, my school has lots to choose from and I have a few I am interested in, one example focuses on Integrated Supply Chain and Operations Management. If everything goes according to plan then I will be starting in January of 2009, its really all about lining up the funding properly without spending anything (or very little) out of pocket and not using student loans.

Tristan is doing great in Kindergarten, twice this last week he told me how much he loves it and that they learn but they also get to play! He is really excited. Jadon is doing well in his new combined 1st Grade 2nd Grade class, he really likes his new teacher and he is getting a lot more attention than he would in a normal sized class.

Jadon also started Cub Scouts! I am really psyched about it! We picked up his uniform and book yesterday, the first meeting was on Thursday. He has asked me everyday since if we have Cub Scouts that night. There were only a few of us to start the Den and I was nominated by the other parents to start out as the Den Leader. It is going to be a lot of fun, its all about involving the parents too and we will get to meet lots of new people and do lots of cool activities.

Jadon's 7th birthday is coming up really soon too. On October 7th! I am planning his birthday party for October 12th, it is going to be a Mexican Food themed Potluck held at my new Apartment!

I said in another blog that I really want to save up and plan a trip to Greece with my boys for my 30th birthday. I decided to alter that, I want to keep the goal realistic and that is just going to be too expensive. I haven't decided what to replace it with, still a big vacation though. Any suggestions would be helpful. I still really want to go to Greece, but it will need to be a bit later in my life. It will be nicer when my boys are a bit older too, they will have more fun with the experience.

Once I get the opprotunity I will take pictures of Jadon in his Cub Scout uniform and post them. I am also going to take some pics of him wearing my old cub scout uniform! It will be really cute!

I watched the new episode of Fringe, I still really like the show, esspecially the humor they put in it at odd times. Like the cow, or when the old guy peed himself. And in the new episode when he was really fascinated with the seat that 'heated his ass' LOL.

I also watched the new episodes of Smallville and Supernatural. Both were good but Supernatural was amazing, this show gets better all the time and this season is looking to be amazing. I am pretty sure the show is only going to be 5 seasons long, which is sad, but I like really plot heavy stories in my movies, tv shows and books, so its the kind of thing I am into anyway.

On a final note before I sign off, things have been going really well between Nicole and I. I think I may have mentioned this recently too. Well apparently its making her 'boyfriend' uncomfortable and he told her he doesn't want us talking for long periods of time. I really want Nicole and I to be more than old aquantences who exhange kids from time to time, I think that is best for all 4 of us, and while I understand Eric's discomfort, what is best for my children and what is best for him won't always match. And not to sound rude, from a certain perspective (mine) you stole my wife so I don't really give a shit about your 'feelings'. I mean, she and I aren't blameless in the situation, but don't forget your place in this little family Eric. I certainly won't.

Well thats it for now everybody! Keep on reading and I'll keep on blogging! Well, I would probably blog even if I didnt have readers, but thank you for reading. I love writing and this is a way for me to share mine and my kids new life with everyone!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Wow, I do know how to use a Dishwasher! In Your Face Ladies!

So I've hit 30+ Washer/Dryer loads for the week. Glad I don't have to pay the Water Bill! Only on my second load in the Dishwasher though... Seems to work well, I mean, technically I am washing clean dishes, but better to be safe rather than sorry after 2 1/2 years packed away. My Ex-Wife and my Mother would both be suprised I even know how to use the damned thing. :-P I also know how to do laundry (especially after this week), take out the garbage, fold/hang clothes, vacuum, wipe off the table and counters, cook, and I've even been teaching myself the fine art of folding Towels and Blankets. HEY! You're talkin to a boyscout ladies, I used to fold a Flag. :-D

No Joke though, its Saturday and I've made some serious progress. Aside from actually doing every single thing on the above list of chores today (aside from the Flag ofcourse). Ive gone through all of Nicole's stuff and ferreted out the stuff that is mine or the boy's. Re-boxed it and stuck it in a corner. Its only like 5 giant boxes and 6 smaller boxes of things... doesnt take much space at all...

We're figuring it out though, as Ive said in my blog recently, she and I are getting along really well again and I think it will only get better. Though this week she has been fairly unavailable, she's passing a kidney stone!

All the boxes are out of the kitchen, which I would place at about 75% complete. I still need to go through and finish cleaning every dish I own. I also need to go through and wipe down all the different appliances and make sure they are presentable (I got my Quasadilla maker back!!). At that point I will need to organize all the various types of food Ive got in my cupboards and where I want everything to go... damnit, Im downgrading the kitchen to 50% done...

The living room is looking great, everything is in its place. Ive got some things hanging out in there for now until I can finish going through everything, but all the big boxes are gone and its mostly just computer stuff, movies and books. Im going to put it at a solid 70% done. But its going to be stuck there for at least a week until I can afford to buy some new media storage and book shelves.

The storage room is cleaned and swept and very organized. Ive got Nicoles stuff in one corner, Christmas and other holidays in a corner and some Misc. stuff in there too. Plus the boy's bikes which Ive kept very accessible.

Upstairs isnt as far along. The.. linen closet? or whatever. Is looking good, just been folding stuff and filling it with all the extra towels, sheets, blankets and so forth. The bathrooms are in good shape for now, still need to put some of my stuff away though.

The boys bedroom is filled to the brim with Toys, unsorted, unorganized and its only half of them. When we moved here the boy's toys were in storage 300+ miles away. So slowly their collection built up again. Now they have ALL their old toys, ALL my old toys and ALL of the stuff they've collected over the past 2 1/2 years.... suffice to say its time to go through and Purge. Ive got a whole box full of stuff I am getting rid of, and I think I will have a couple boxes full of toys I plan on getting rid of too. I also need to find a new home for Tristan's Fire Truck bed, which is still in great shape.

My Bedroom, has some stuff stored, had every emtpy box or container that is in good enough shape to reuse and has ALL of the clothes and blankets and stuff that I have been cleaning but havent had time to put away. Ive put a few loads away here and there, but ultimatly I had to prioritize. I have a pile of stuff I need to go through again, things that are either the right size and stained (thus need special attention) or too big and need to be put away for a later date, or too small and I am getting rid of it. Then there is the pile of stuff I havent gone though yet, and then a pile of stuff I have gone through and folded or prepared for hangers. The only reason those arent done is because I go through them late at night when the boys are sleeping.

Ultimatly Ive made a ton of progress today. Ive stayed up working on this stuff until 1am for the last 3 nights and I am beat! its only 9, but Ive been doing it all day! I wish it were a week day, work is like a break compared to this! lol, just kidding.

I do still have a lot at my moms house and even some stuff at russes. Games, Hobby Stuff, old collections from when I was a kid, a few odd boxes here and there, half the boys toys and all of their books. So Ive still got quite a bit of work ahead of me.

Ok, time to switch gears. I only saw bits and pieces of the cougar game on Friday night, but their offense had some massive improvement in the first half of the game, compared to the two previous games. I think with a little time invested that the Jr. Quarterback Lupina is the right choice. He has a good accurate arm, he is able to make plays under pressure and he seems more comfortable with the no huddle offense. 2 interceptions and a Fumble that bounced off his helmet dont look so good, but he did WAY better than any other Cougar QB this year so far. Almost half our F'ing conference is in the top 25, even with a good team we would be near the bottom of the pack most likely, I just want us to get our hearts back into the game and play like Cougs again!

Former Cougar QB Alex Brink got cut from the Houston Texans. Not unexpected, but still unfortunate. I still have hopes for Jason Hill on the 49ers and Michael Bumpbus on the Seahawks. We'll see.

I also have some bad news on the Grandparents front. My Grandma has Bronchitis right now, and the fluid from it is causing her heart to enlarge and the docters are a bit worried. She already has heart problems. She isn't in the hospital or anything, but my mom was really worried. Ive called my grandma to check up on her a few times today and yesterday. She is sounding better every time we talk.

Also, many of you know that my Grandfather has been suffering from Dementia/Alcheimers. 2 1/2 years ago when I first moved back here with the boys, he was just a retired version of my grandpa that Ive had around all my life. Only a few months later did my mom and grandma take me aside and tell me some of their concerns, he has a family history of dementia, and they believed he was starting to show signs of it. My Uncles did not agree with them at the time, but I decided to keep a closer eye on him.

It didn't take long before it was obvious to everyone. I wouldn't call it gradual at all, it noticibly jumps and gets worse at times, but then shrinks back a little to make him seem almost ok. For the last 2 years almost he has been nearly a completely different person.

Well, a recent cat scan showed us that in the last 2 years he has also suffered two minor Strokes...

Thats all I really have to say about that right now, my grandparents are very important to me and are a big part of the man I've become.

One last thing to discuss. My Dad. I'm never really sure what to think, or do. I'm 28 years old and I haven't seen him since I was 13. And before that I hadn't seen him since I was 7, and before that I was just a baby when I saw him.

A couple of years ago, probably in 2004, I decided to find his number and give him a call. I think it was summer time or something because my Brother and Sister were with him as well. I spoke with all three of them for awhile and I think we conversed back and forth a few more times. They sent the boys some christmas presents that year.

It didn't take long for communication to dry up again. Well, going through all my old stuff I came across an envelope. It was set to go to my Dad's address, it was sealed and had a stamp on it and everything. I couldn't figure out why I had it, or why it wasn't sent out 4 years ago, so I opened it and found a picture of each of the boys in it. I never sent him the pictures and I don't know why. Was it a concious decision? was it just a mistake?

I started talking to my brother online last year, we still chat from time to time. Still havent seen him in 14 years, since he was 1 years old, or his sister since she was 4. I want to though. I haven't talked to my Dad yet, not sure about it really. Who is he? I mean, I know his name, but beyond that, I really don't know. I plan on sending him school pictures this year, I made sure to order enough for him.

I hope I send them out, and Im sure I will this time. It seems like a no brainer right? Its not though, He's my dad, but at the same time, I dont have a dad. He has two awesome grandchildren, but at the same time, he doesn't. I guess that weird feeling deep in my gut is just me being nervous.

When I send these pictures, I guess I am just hoping that he wants them.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Fringe and More

Hello! This is my first post to my new Blog! Normally I blog on MySpace, but I want to try something new and more exciting. This is really going to be a test post while I tweak the look and feel of my new blog.

Just for fun I wanted to talk about the TV Shows I am going to be following this season.

1) Lost
I started watching lost right as the Season 2 DVD was released, I watched the first season in a whole weekend and then the second season the next weekend and I was hooked! Its been up and down but overall I think the show is doing really well. Supposedly this will be the fifth and final season. After the season finale I am super psyched to see what comes next.

2) Smallville
I was always a Superman fan when I was a kid, but I was totally opposed to watching anything on The WB network. Then one day while Nicole was at work I landed on Smallville. It turned out to be the season finale for season 3 I believe and it hooked me in pretty good. I became a big fan at that point, but I am not very confident about the future of the series. Lex Luthor has left the show and even though the show was meant to be about Clark Kent coming into his own and showing the story about him before he was superman, it really became a show about Good vs. Evil, Clark vs. Lex, Friends becoming mortal enemies. Season 4 aside, most seasons are plagued by a lack of overall plot, expept for the first couple, last couple and maybe one or two episodes in the middle. The rest are all one shots and that kind of puts me off.

3) Supernatural
This one is by far one of my favorite shows of all time! Season 4 of Smallville had Jensen Ackles and I really liked the actor. During the season they killed off his character, during the finale I believe, but the very next season of television Jensen was starring along with Jared Padalecki in a new show on The WB called Supernatural. Even though I liked Smallville I wasn't too sure about taking on another WB show. I forgot all about it and then landed on the show one night and I have watched every episode since. It follows two brothers who are always at odds but are both bad ass monster hunters essentially. They had a traumatic experience when they were kids, their mom was killed by a demon, their dad pretty much went crazy and became a "Hunter" hunting demons, and all sorts of other supernatural things. This season is promising to be amazing, Dean (Jensen Ackles) died at the end of the last season and this one picks up 4 months later and he is alive again somehow. If you like Horror/Suspense/Mystery at all then you will probably like this show, it is top notch and should be on a better network.

4) Heroes
The first season of this show was just plain crazy, I loved it! The 2nd season not so good, but I still liked it, it just could have been a crap ton better, and we all expected better after the first season. I have been watching the previews for this season and they look pretty good, so I have my hopes up.

5) Fringe
I just caught the series premiere of this show and as long as the next few episodes are just as good then this one is going to be amazing. It feels like Lost meets the X-Files, but from more of a CSI perspective.

6) Californication
This is a show on Showtime, I watched like 3 episodes one time and thought it was just the best show in the world. The characters and storylines are all amazing, there wasn't a bad episode. I finally caught them all on DVD (which I hope to buy sometime).

As a note, I don't have cable. I will be downloading all of the shows via Torrent and watching them on my computer. So I probably will see them several days after thier original broadcast.

Anyway, thats it for my first blog, lets see how this thing turns out!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Soul Trapt

That's right, I'm BACK! Things are going to change rapidly for me now that I have more direct control over my life.

The struggle that was my divorce and custody battle was fierce and taxed me more than I am prepared to discuss at the moment. Only now am I able to look back and see its effect on my life as a whole and the lives of those around me.

Now more than ever do I feel it was the wisest move I could have made to remain with my family. Most of my life in the past 2 1/2 years has been on Auto-Pilot. Parts of me have felt so thoroughly out of control, which has historically been very unlike me.

I rested atop the shoulders of others while I dealt with the matter at hand. I will say no 'What Ifs' but the support I received from friends and family alike was integral to my successes.

As mentioned in previous blogs I am a strong believer in Destiny. Through all that has happened I said things about my future but the future is here, now. I feel vastly under-prepared for it.

A few weeks before my children arrived home from their summer with their mother I was suddenly struck with a realization. The realization that I mentioned above, The Future Is Now. My journey up to this point has truly come to an end and a whole new journey awaits.

I am standing here, at the base of a mountain. The peak, shrouded in mystery. I do not know what waits for me at the top of this peak, or if I will even reach those glorious heights. All that I know is that it is the journey that counts the most.

Part of me feels like such a horrible failure. I've been living with my parents for 2 1/2 years, I have a failed marriage, no college degree, I make very little money, and other than parenthood, I have wasted a majority of my life.

Another part of me feels that everything that has led up to this point was fate. My whole life did not lead up to this custody battle, though it seemed that way at first. My life has led up to this, a brand new journey. One that I suddenly feel I very much have the strength for. I feel prepared to begin the difficult climb up the side of this mountain.

Off and on I have been writing. Mostly practice stuff lately, and trying to nail down a routine (which still eludes me). Writing has been important to me for quite sometime.

I will write a book, I don't care if its the worst book on the planet and it makes an agent laugh in my face, I will finish a book.

I will re-start college, this is my next step and one that I will not be taking lightly. I will do well in school and as a result my children will do well in school. I will finish college and as a result I will set a better example for my children. I will earn a degree and find work doing something I love that will provide me with enough money to support a larger family.

I will learn Greek, and I will begin very soon. In my lifetime I will visit Greece at least once and when I do I wish to be able to speak and understand at least a little while I am there. If that goes well I will continue on by learning Italian and possibly Spanish, you can not deny the usefulness of knowing Spanish. I plan on introducing any language I learn to my children as well, hopefully going so far as to teach them the language as I learn it, or having them learn it along with me.

I will find a girl, a woman, able to really love me. Someone I can trust to really know me. Someone who wishes to live a simple life, yet one with flavor and hope. Someone who wants to sit at home and have people over and play games or watch movies. Someone who wants to go to the Ice Capads (DON'T JUDGE ME!), a musical or a play. Someone who likes to walk in the rain, or gaze up at a dark sky filled with stars. Someone who accepts and loves my boys. Someone who wishes to expand and make a big family with strong ties to one another. I guess I could keep going forever on this one sooooo... moving on.

This is the one part of my list that I think won't happen, considering my current financial situation. But I am very much giving thought to the idea of going on a vacation for 1-2 weeks in Greece for my 30th birthday with just Jadon, Tristan and Myself. July 2010 is coming up fast, 22 months. I may just have to wait a little while longer, but I wish very much to do something really really special for my 30th birthday to celebrate an important milestone. But I am thinking an 8k-9k trip is a little much at the moment lol.

Time to ground this blog a bit, Im assuming I've already lost most of my readers at this point anyway LOL.

Today was kind of rough for me. Work was fine, I was in a good mood most of the day. Not long after I picked the kids up, one delays after the next. One headache too many. I came home, which is very nice to be able to say, and I just felt so overwhelmed by this move. I couldn't organize my thoughts, I couldnt get anything done at all.

After I put the boys in bed I sat down to relax and gather my thoughts, I used the opprotunity to watch the premiere episode of a new TV show called "The Fringe".  It wasn't exactly a relaxing show, but it was awesome (which I will talk about soon enough). Suddenly I decided it was time to blog and now I feel very much myself again. Typing is my thing, as far as writing is concerned I am starting to think that I am shooting myself in the foot by starting with Fiction.

Unfortunatly it is 10:30 at night, and this blog is long as hell. I suddenly feel prepared to get some stuff done and its getting late. Well Ill just stay up for a bit and do a few things before bed.

My new apartment is working out well, I expect to have it mostly set up by the end of this weekend, but I still have more stuff to move in. Either way, I should be just about ready to have guests coming over soon.

That is something I am really looking forward to! Nothing solid yet, but I already have semi-arranged plans for several different people to come over for dinner and/or games. I am also planning on having Jadon's 7th birthday party here so that my family can all come and see whats up.

Damn, Im getting fidgity, I need to get back to work. Blog Blog Blog, I guess in a way I've already written a book, even with taking 4-5 weeks off from writing blogs from time to time I still have written an average that exceeds more than 1 blog per week since my first blog in November of 2006. This will be my 121st blog after I post it.

Alright Alright, Im done.

Peace out all,

Much Love,

Jason Bishop

Saturday, September 6, 2008

This is Jason... signing off...

LOL Hey all, I just wanted to let you know that I am probably shutting down my computer tonight and moving it in the morning. I may not be online for a couple of days.

I know you're not all internet junkies like I am, but still, DONT PANIC! I will return!

If Ive sent you a message that I am expecting a response from then TXT my phone, assuming you have the number, I'm not handing it out on here so if you need my number just let me know.

YaY for moving! Long time coming, been officially divorced for 4 months now, signed the lease the day the boys arrived home from Phoenix and now its time for the final push. The finale so to speak. Though without fireworks.

For those in the area, or out, who want to come and visit my new apartment (YAY) just let me know and we will hook up for dinner sometime. For once I finally feel like I have my own space and life again.

Its all been so focused on the divorce and the custody battle for so long, well, I've won and this is part of my reward. A life with just the boys and I, and apparently their future step mom which they keep telling people about (I guess I cant wait to meet her, I hope they didn't pick her out for me).


Damn this thing got long and sounds like one of my blogs, oh well, Guess Ill have to post it there too

Peace Out!

See you on the Flip Side.

And so on.


(see, told you I would post it as a blog too, damn I meant for the Bullitin thing to be like maybe a paragraph and it became this mini monster of a text)

Friday, September 5, 2008

Feeling kind of weird...

I honestly did not expect this, but this move is going to be a lot harder on me than I ever thought possible.

The last time I moved into my own apartment I was married, happily I thought, and birth predictions aside, 2 weeks later my wife would give birth to my 2nd born son Tristan.

Then, the other part is that I literally haven't seen this stuff in 2 1/2 years. Ive said that 1000 times in my blogs, but now I really feel the effect of it like I never thought I would.

Boxes I open, things I havent seen in years. Things I haven't seen since my wife walked out on me. March of 2006 was a living nightmare, my wife took the kids and flew to phoenix on the 4th of the month, I wasn't at my job and for the ENTIRE MONTH I just sat at home, alone... I couldnt watch anything on TV, I could only watch the show 'Friends'. I couldnt play video games, just one that I played online with my best friend at times. I couldn't sleep in my own bed without the warmth of my wife next to me and it devestated me every morning when I woke up and they were still gone. I was alone. I felt as empty as the apartment.

Im over most of the stuff from my divorce. Im not even upset with Nicole anymore. But this weekend will be like a trip through time. I will be opening up our boxes, setting up Nicole's and My apartment with all of our things.

I expected something, but I didn't expect this.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My Weekend Was FINE!

lol, and when I say my weekend was FINE that's just an inside joke from one of the shows. My weekend was GREAT! Though, more difficult than I anticipated.

I went up there on Friday afternoon and left this afternoon (laborday). Normally Im in the habit of starting from.. well.. the start, but I think I am going to use this morning as the starting point to the story of my weekend.

I was a fucking mess this morning, there was nothing specific causing it but every little thing created more emotion than I could hope to contain.

We sat watching CSI for a bit and it showed a flashback of the hooker putting her dead 5 year old nephews corpse in a container to hide him and it freakin brought tears to my eyes. Just briefly, nothing really bit, I was bawling my eyes out or anything, but it was the same feeling that always hits me when I see kid related stuff in movies or on the news or whatever, but this time I just couldn't contain it!

Then, not long after, the boys called me to tell me they were home. Tristan took his training wheels off his bike and he was telling me all about it and I could just feel the love in his voice. Sarah left the room for a bit but by the time she got back I was just completely in tears on the phone trying to sound normal. I mean, for christ sakes, I was just really happy and I couldn't contain it worth squat.

I kind of went back and forth like that for awhile today. Once I got in the car and started driving, though, my thoughts finally started re-aligning themselves and a big smile leapt to my face and has since not left. Thats right, its still right here with me, smack right on my lips is a big ass smile.

I had a really great weekend and in hindsight it is even greater than I realized.

Ok, now that I've completely thrown you off by starting with the end of the trip, Ill leap back to the beginning and tell it how its supposed to be told.

Wait Wait, just hold .. rushing me. Let me first explain who Sarah is. If you've been reading my blog for awhile, or delved into my archive of 117 blogs than you certainly already know who she is. But read this anyway, because a lot is changed.

Sarah is a really good friend of mine, I love her to death, she is just amazing. As a side note she put up with my crap all weekend long and she did it with style! :D. Sarah is in such a happy place right now, she has a new great job that she is really excited about, an awesome new home, she is closer to all her family again and just everything seems to be falling right into place for her and I could not be happier, she deserves it!

As far as who she is in my life, well, I guess you could say she is an ex-girlfriend. I have refered to her as such only a few times, and it sounds like she is in the same boat. I wouldn't say we officially dated, we just got really really close for a time and I would say we have kind of struggled to keep a friendship since. Im not sure how this weekend will effect that, it could be good it could be bad.

She has had an amazing impact on my life, she brought out a part of me I didn't even know existed and I am still trying to learn how to bring that part of me out on my own. She was there for me in a difficult time in my life and she is the only person I can fully trust to give me the truth. I can trust my other friends to slap me in the face and tell me to wake the 'F' up and they have all been there for me, but sometimes it has been hard to see through my family and friends bias and I never had that issue with Sarah.

Ok, so now you know who Sarah is. Well, back when she was first moving back to the seattle area and just got her new job she and I had made plans to get tickets to go to the Cougar Game in Qwest Stadium together. Things kind of got a little screwy for a bit and our plans got cancelled, kind of private.

Well, we started talking again and I had gotten tickets to the game for Fathers day (14 rows up from the field, THANKS JADON AND TRISTAN I LOVE YOU), we made plans to go and then we built up a weekend around it. Being a HUGE fan of the show "Friends" I started calling it SARAH + JASON's DAY OF FUN!

So we planned the game for Saturday, Bumbershoot for Sunday and the Zoo for Monday. The way I described Monday above aside, I am soooo happy we cancelled the Zoo part, it would have been hella fun but we were sooo worn out by Sunday night.

So I got there while Sarah was still at work on Friday and we hung out there for a bit. Then we went and picked up some food and went back to her place and just relaxed and caught up a bit while we ate dinner. We also watched a movie I should have watched forever ago, "Thank you for Smoking" it was really really good and I knew it would be, not sure why I never watched it. (and I might be confused, did we watch this Friday or Saturday before the comedy?)

Anyway, so we went to bed and then in the morning I woke up and then I got bored immediatly so I woke Sarah up too (which I am sure I will hear about for quite some time! and if she ever stays with me I am a little afraid of the payback!). We got ready for the Cougar Game, but we were lame and we forgot to get any tattoos or face paint or anything like that.

I had a TON of fun at the game, the seats were great, spending time with Sarah again was great. The cougars totally bombed, but we are both True Fans and we stayed until the end. This is my 3rd time to Qwest Field and so far I am 1 win 2 losses. The first time was a couple years ago for the same cougar game, we WON, but we lost this year and the the Seahawks lost the game against the Saints I went to. ALL FUN, but Ill have to go to that stadium at least a dozen more times to see if its just random or if I am bad luck! :-D lol

We went and ate at the Alderwood Mall (WHICH I FRICKEN LOVE) and then walked around for a bit. She had been wanting to buy this ring for herself for a bit and she thought about maybe buying it for herself for her approaching birthday. She had already pretty much convinced herself, so I think I was just there to cinch the deal in her mind LOL. She had been pointing out the purses from this store ALL DAY! :-) Coach Coach COACH.

That evening we sat back and watched comedy on TV that turned out to have some freakin amazing Hilarious comics, one in particular is named Daniel Tosh and we were both laughing hysterically!

Then we hit the hay. I woke up before her again... and yes I woke her ass up too! I gave her a bit more time Sunday morning, but not much! :-P Frankly, suprised Im still alive.

Sunday we went to Bumbershoot, and it was Amazing. We checked out the schedule and fit as much as we could in, we went to Three different Comedy Shows and ended the night with a Stone Temple Pilots Concert.

First we watched a Standup show with some guy whos name I can't remember, a really funny comic named Michelle Buteau and it ended with Janeane Garafalow. It was a good show, I liked Michelle Buteau the best, and I think Sarah might have liked the opening guy the best, and he was really funny!

Then we hit the one we were looking forward to the most, The MySpace Show. It was 6 comics and one of them pulled an volunteer out of the audiance and on a big screen they browsed this person's MySpace page and interviewed them about it for a few minutes (they did this twice during the hour show) after the interview they let the person go back to their seat and the 6 comics did all sorts of improvisational sketches mimicking this person and making fun of their myspace.. it was f'ing awesome and f'ing hilarious.

After that we ran back outside and got right into line for a 3rd comedy show. This was was called the Satiristas. It opened with Republican Senator Richard Martin taking questions, it was hilarious satire and the highlight of the 3rd show, check his website out at . There were 3 other comics, one of which was Janeane Garafalow again, all 3 were very funny. The other 2 were Marc Maron and Tom Rhodes.

Then we had a bit of dinner and went and got seated for STP. I know there is a giant retard stamp on my forehead but I haven't been to a concert in 12 years. It was freakin awesome! Im not the biggest Stone Temple Pilots fan, but I am more than enough of a fan to enjoy them in concert and it was awesome.

Sarah wasn't so sure she would even know any songs, and I couldnt muster any up before the show for her. We ended up making a bet, the loser buys 2 apple cup tickets for us. The original idea was that if she KNEW at least 3 songs and recognized up to 8 then I won, but that was too complicated and she claims that if she hears a song she "knows" it, which is true. So we changed it to, if she knows at least 6 songs from what is played live then I win and she loses and has to buy us Apple Cup Tickets. And if she knows 5 or less, I loss and buy the tickets.

Well, we got to song 5 and I told her the bet was off, I was sure I was going to win but she had been paying for most of the weekend so I said regardless of who wins the bet I want to buy the tickets. Well, I won!!! And its always a nice feeling, when we left she had heard 8 songs that she knew and she was cursing her dad for not telling her band names to songs they had listened to a lot together. :-D

Suffice to say, we had already had a LOOONG weekend and when we got back to her place we both went to sleep right away. And well, I told you above how Monday went. We watched a little TV, did a bit of talking, ate lunch and then I was on my way. (I made really good time on both trips across the state).

Ultimately things were a little weird between us, it had been 10 months since we last saw each other, but it felt like 10 years. I knew I missed her, but it wasn't until I got there that I realized just how much.

The Cougar Game, The Comedy and Bumbershoot were all 2nd to getting to spend time with Sarah again and I hope we can do that every 4-6 months or so while we still are able. I don't know though, she likes to break up with me at least once every 6 months, and officially we never really dated LOL.

Well, I got home in time to play with my kids and put them in bed. Look over their papers and such from school on Friday. This weekend was exactly what I needed, I had a great time and I haven't felt this good in awhile.

With the new apartment comes a new beginning and Sarah said it best, she told me (and this is not an exact quote) that its like I am 20 again, moving out on my own for the first time. For me, that means a lot, I feel like it means I Need so shed my skin a bit, really start fresh in every way I can, life is going to be more different and challenging than ever. This is officially the new beginning, and I could not have said this this morning, but I can say it now. I feel ready.


Hilarious (Patent Pending)