Tuesday, April 15, 2008

You pave the road of life as you walk it....

Each of us walks a unique path in life, a way that has never been traveled before. We are all alike in so many ways, yet our paths, while intertwined, are unique.

My date last week went great. It was more than just a relief to get out and start dating again. My divorce and custody battles have weighed down on me so heavily that its hard to adjust to life starting to get back to normal finally.

Unfortunatly its not going to go anywhere, but Bre is really nice and we still chat from time to time. Its funny how you meet people, funny how our 'paths' cross. Already my path has unexpectedly crossed that of others, and I feel like I was just blind to this before.

As those of you who have read my blog may have noticed, I can be very frank and honest at times. I hope that this is one of those times, as it is time to sit down and have a commentary on my blog about dating and my related hopes and fears.

I am a simple man, with simple desires. Too simple for some I think. A family. That is what I want in life, and everything else is meant to support that.

My Divorce is all but over, just negotiating the last of the debt. I won custody of my two little boys just over a month ago now. My new life is finally starting, my ex-wife and I have been seperated for over 2 years now and with the help of a good friend of mine I am ready and willing to start dating again. Which if you read the above, I started just about a week ago.

I'm going to tell you right now, it felt great. It felt so great to sit down and talk with another adult, someone new, discuss ourselves. Now, I'm not a player or a ladies man, I have very limited dating experience (so ladies, be gentle lol), but just the fact that I can go on a date with someone and not impregnate them and then marry them... well, victory for me!! YaY!

I feel like this gives me a chance to do this right, to really be happy.

I am a very shy person, and not very experienced at dating. My one date so far went much better than I had anticipated. To a certain degree I am glad its not going beyond the first date, she is really nice and I know I would enjoy a 2nd date, but it makes me feel normal. My first girlfriend is the mother of my children, within the span of 4 months we started dating, got pregnant and go married. 6 years later, here I am.

I hope that I find some more really nice girls to take out an deat dinner with, have a little fun with, watch some movies with. Just a little light hearted and innocent dating so I can get out there and meet some really nice girls. Get to know new people and have more friends. My further hope is that one of them will be just for me, someone to possibly do things right with, share my life with.

Those are my hopes, here are my fears. I fear that women won't like me or won't want to date me because I am a single dad. The kinds of girls I generally am interested in are girls that want to have babys of their own or already do. I'm afraid that girls are going to think that just because I have kids means they would need to commit to me.

I'm a father, there is no way around that. I am not looking for someone to mother my children though, they have their mom. She lives 1500 miles away and they visit her in the summer time. I strong female presence in their life would be healthy for them, but they already have a mom.

Well, dating aside! Ijust picked up a Nintendo Wii, should be a TON of fun for the boys and I!

Oh also, I dont know if I mentioned it in a previous blog but I am intending on applying for school again. I still need to clean my loans up a bit as I let them get kind of messed up when my divorce started 2 years ago, but my work will pay for up to 2 classes at a time, so I figure there is no reason for me to wait any longer!

In May I am plannning on visiting my ex-sister-in-law so we can get our kids together before summer. I will probably head up there, but we are also considering having her come over here so we can all go to silverwood!!

Also, I am hopefully going to be meeting my Brother and Sister one weekend in May, this will be the first real time we've met (they are 18 and 15 and I last met them when they were 4 and 1), also I will hopefully see my dad again, aside from when I was a baby, this will only be the 3rd time we've ever met.

Anyway, im signing off, need some sleep before work in the morning!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Wanna hear about my date? :-)

My last blog feels like a lifetime ago, even though it was only a couple weeks. I feel like a lot has happened, and while the list is short, what has happened is a pretty big deal for a bashful divorcee like myself.

Before I get to the juicy stuff, let me mention some of the things going on. Football is going great, its really just a Parent/Kid activity night type of thing where you practice different things with the football. Im enjoying it, but its near the kids bedtime and is my least favorite activity at the moment.

The boys are both getting pretty good at both throwing and catching the football, which is awesome. We found out on thursday night that Jadon is a righty when it comes to throwing the ball, he is still a lefty for eating/writing and so on, but his right arm is literally twice as good at his left when it comes to sports lol.

Tristan finally started Soccer today, its little kids soccer, short practice once per week and no games, just activities with the other kids and the coach. He enjoyed himself. I would have started last weekend if it wasn't for the weather.

Jadon has gone through 3 weeks of Practice in Soccer now, he has an hour long practice every Monday and Wednesday and then he had his first soccer game TODAY. I dont think they won, but people weren't really keeping score, he did make an awesome goal though and got major props for it from both teams.

During Jadon's hour long soccer practices, Tristan and I practice other things, so far we throw the football around, sometimes we play a game where I am supposed to go and get him and knock him on the ground after he catches it, he likes that a lot. Other times we throw a baseball around, its easier now that I bought myself a mitt.

Jadon is my catcher so far, he is great at catching both the baseball and the football. Tristan is my thrower, I am still shocked over how well he can throw the baseball, Jadon tends to either be really accurate OR really powerful with his throws. We havent made the switch to his other hand yet with the baseball though, that may help. Tristan is really good with the football, and now that Jadon is throwing right handed with it, he is too!

Tristan turned the big 5 last weekend on March 30th! We are having his party tomorrow at Bumpers in the Moscow Mall at noon. It should be a lot of fun, I took a peak at the cake today and it is looking awesome! Carrie did a great job again, she made Jadon's Ben 10 cake for Jadon's birthday last year, her twins Xander and Bryson are in the Firebirds with Jadon and Tristan.

I think I had some other stuff I wanted to talk about, but I can't get this date off my mind.

I feel like I have come a long way since Nicole left me, I have changed a lot personally but it took some time. I met a girl in the end of 2006 that means a lot to me, but not in the way I thought. Even though she and I never officially started dating... well, it feels like she was my rebound. She kind of helped me learn how to move on, emotionally.

Anyway, back to the present. Just over a week ago I was messing around with this application on Facebook called "Owned!" and within just a few minutes I came across a really cute picture of this girl named Bre. I just had to tell her how cute I thought she was, so I did!

After checking out her Facebook and MySpace profiles, I was really interested in talking to Bre, so I messaged her on Facebook and within the hour we were sending messages back and forth on both MySpace and Facebook. It was a lot of fun!

Then we started text messaging each others phones and using MSN to chat online, then finally we spoke on the phone and she has a really pretty voice to match all of the words I've been reading. Sometime, fairly quick, last weekend I think, I asked her out on a date and she agreed! We planned it for last night.

I sent her flowers at her work the day before (on thursday) and then yesterday she and I went out to dinner at a mexican resturaunt and then we went to see the movie Leatherheads.

I had a lot of fun, but those of you who know me can probably picture just how nervous I was! But be proud of me, I did good, I tried to keep conversation going, I asked lots of questions, I wasn't nearly as bashful or quiet as I would have been in the past.

In the car after the movie we talked a little bit about a possible 2nd date, I walked her to her door and we hugged and said good night. It was very innocent, I had thought about kissing her, but it felt a little too soon, and I hope that is true, I hope it wasn't just me being overly nervous!

I am excited about the prospect of a 2nd date, we'll see how things go.

I think that is probably good for tonight, Ill probably be posting a blog about Tristan's party tomorrow night!


PS: I forgot, I had looked at all the pictures Bre has on MySpace and Facebook and she has a ton of cute pictures posted, but I wasn't as prepared to meet her in person as I thought I was, she was beautiful! Even if it does turn out to be just one date, I'm really happy I know Bre now and I hope we can get to know each other better. :-)