Thursday, January 31, 2008

New Apartment

There are several different parts of my life, and without really thinking about it I have been kind of attempting to make each part come together all at once. As if my divorce is some kind of Zero Hour I seem to be attempting to work out my divorce, my living situation, my debt situation, and the part of my life I seem to be forcing the most, my love life.

I think its just the way my mind works, at times I can procrastinate with the best of them, while other times I take on as much as I can.

Most of it is working out, but the whole "love life" thing is not. I want it to, and I try to tell myself I am not in a hurry, but I act like I am. I tell myself there is no rush, I have plenty of time to live life, get married and have more children. That is what I want, the part of me that makes me feel rushed is that clock of mine ticking down to 30.

2 more years, Ill be the ripe young age of 30, Ill have two wonderful boys, ages 9 and 7. That is another thing that makes me feel rushed, I never wanted so much difference between the ages of my children, but if I am to have more, it can't be helped at this point.

I have 2 amazing boys, I could be a single happy father for the rest of my life. I just want so much more, I do want love, and I esspecially want more children. I fall in love with every baby I see now, in my heart and soul I know I am meant to have more children, and I know in that respect that I am ready to as well.

I just have to remind myself that this is something that can not be rushed. I do truly believe I have found that person though, after a recent conversation with a friend of mine about her, I am more convinced than ever. Only time will tell though, as long as I can have the strength to give the situation the time it needs.

Things on the trial front, my trial is in 12 more days. Nicole has yet to appeal the judges recent decision. Perhaps all of her threats were just made out of spite? We'll have to wait and see.

I filed my taxes, I had prepped them all in advance and just had to enter in my W2 when I got it. Ill be saving most of the money, spending a little, using what I need to to move and buy some furniture and "new apartment essentials".

My intention is to have my own apartment by March, we'll see how well that works out. Maybe once its all set up I can invite some people over for dinner or something to break it in. I am trying to put together a list of things I will need, furniture and such.


EDIT (2/1/2008, 1:30PM):
So after locking my keys in the car for most of the morning yesterday and missing work, I doubled my efforts to get to work this morning. I wish I had just slept in. I was nearly to Pullman when the guy in front of me drives into a White-Out, suddenly his lights completely dissapear , we are already going between 30-35, but with the Drifts and the White-Out coming up I am slowing down, then when his lights dissapear I assume it is just thicker and harder to see through than I originally thought.

I was wrong, the reason his lights dissapeared is because the White-Out completely blinded him and his right tires hit a drift and he spun out, he was in the middle of the road facing directly to my right when suddenly his headlights come into view with absolutly no time for me to do much. I probably started to slide into him at around 20MPH, and I tried to curve to the right in front of him but we collided and then I ran into a huge drift.

Fortunatly no one was hurt, though my car looks pretty F-ed up. The damage to his vehicle didn't seem nearly as bad, but I definitly got him pretty good. The officer hopefully won't write a citation, my insurance thinks I will definitly be made responsible for the accident. The other driver and I couldn't figure it out and kind of hoped it would be rendered a 'no fault' accident. My claims guy said that a judge would probably just say I should have slowed down to like 4-5MPH when I saw the whiteout, but my response would be that any highway where I should be driving at 4-5 MPH to be safe should be closed, as this one should have been the last 2 days.

Anyway, getting a rental on Monday, don't need to go anywhere for the weekend so figured I would wait until then. That is when I will get the estimates too and figure out if we can get it fixed (which is what I want) or if they have to total it, in which case I will probably end up with 3-4k after my loan is paid off, plus my tax refund money, then I can figure out the apartment thing and get a car I probably don't want at the same time. So hopefully it isn't totaled.

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