Saturday, October 20, 2007

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

Before I give a brief update about my life, I just want to mention that I found out this evening that my Grandfather, whom I love and respect very much, may have cancer and a tumor.

So, about 7 or 8 weeks ago my 'wife' let slip that she and her boyfriend Eric had found the location of my son Jadon's biological father. She indicated they had paid an online service to find him several months ago. I believe it was most likely in April of this year, not long after I had filed for divorce and placed a restraining order preventing Nicole from taking the kids out of Washington. Both her first lawyer and her current one apparently advised her not to contact him at all and that it would only complicate an already complicated case.

I told my lawyer about it and we talked about it at length on several occasions. Ultimately she recommended to me that we find him ourselves and begin the adoption process immediatly instead of waiting until after the divorce. So about 4 weeks ago my lawyer informed me that she had hired a private investigator and managed to locate him based upon a previous address I had. We thought about our next move for about a week or two and then we filed for adoption and sent him all the papers from the trial so far.

The main reasons Beth recommended this course of action are, having now located the biological father we are able to fully brief him in the court case thus far. Both Nicole's former lawyer and current one like to try to take the angle that the De Facto Parent law tramples over the Biological Father's rights due to the fact that he has no ability to react to this and has not been properly briefed. That is not true, but now it is a moot point, as regardless, he is now informed. The other main reason is because it could help me with the custody battle as well. I intend to adopt Jadon regardless of how the custody battle turns out, and originally Beth and I had decided it was best to wait, as we are fairly certain Nicole will fight it before custody is decided, but I am also fairly certain she will want it once the trial is over.

It has been 2 weeks since we served him. We have been having some trouble getting the proof he was served, so my lawyer has refrained from attempting to contact him until we recieve that proof. He has not responded, and despite trying to contact Nicole's lawyer about serving Nicole the same paperwork, we have also not heard from Nicole's lawyer. So to this date, Nicole is not aware I have filed for adoption. But I am ready to recieve the hellstorm of a call from her when she finds out.

I spent the night at my Grandparents Friday, then we all went to this cool farm event and the boys LOVED the Hay/Corn maze for kids, and then there was a story time/Scarcrow making workshop, petting zoo, face paiting, we got to pick a huge pumpkin out of the pumpkin patch and a few other activities. We had our little cousin braydon (about 20 months now) out with us, he did a great job. Then we went back to my grandparents house for dinner.

What I am about to say is not neccesarily graphic, but you may not wish to read it.

We were watching football in the living room and the boys were all 3 running back and forth playing and such. My grandma looked at my grandpa and then noticed he had a very large blood stain on the front of his overalls. She began to question him about it and I just got up and herded the kids into a seperate room so they could continue playing without overhearing the conversation.

I listened to the conversation from the kitchen and my grandma came in to tell me what was going on and she said she wanted to take him to the hospital as he was peeing blood. She discovered a lot of blood on his sheets from when he had napped earlier as well. He told her he wasn't going anywhere and she tried to convince him and she gave up, I argued with her about it and finally she wanted me to try to convince him so finally after 20 minutes or so of talking with him I got him to agree to go to the hospital if I called a nurse there first and if she agreed he needed to go in right away.

We had considered just calling 911 and having them come and pick him up, but its best if he chooses to go on his own. I went and told my grandma what he said and she said she had just made that call and they "don't advise over the phone". I mean COME ON! I know that freakin rule but answer a freakin yes or no question "My Husband is Peeing Blood, is this serious enough to come in to the emergency room now?"

She went in and essentially made a fake call and then told him the doctor said he needed to go in right away. So they went down and we learned the information that I mentioned in the beginning of the blog. I was most suprised by how quickly my grandma almost gave up on the idea of taking him to the hospital right away. I knew it had been hard for her lately, but I don't think I had seen her so worn down, his Dementia has been steadily getting worse ever since I moved home.

I indicated he "may" have those things, I think they were fairly certain about the Tumor, but they indicated he needs to see a Urologist immediately.

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