Saturday, August 18, 2007

One Week Later

Well, today is Saturday. I want to let everyone know that I picked my kids up last Friday from Provo UT, just 45 miles south of Salt Lake City. It went smoothly.

Splitting the trip up over 3 days was so much easier than driving straight there and straight back in 25 hours.

The boys and I fell back into our normal routine like nothing happened. Their language has changed a little though, they refer to killing a lot more often (and I don't know why, but it is already starting to lessen as I discourage it) and they describe things as "Big and Fat" a lot now, not people yet, but I am afraid that is next.

They were super excited about seeing all their friends at Daycare. They have been helping me pick out their Fall activities, I can't wait to sign them up (as soon as I have the money). They will definitly be in Basketball again, they both say they want to be in Soccer again so I will probably sign them up and then cancel it if they decide not to participate. Plus several Holiday related activities.

This new book series I am reading called "Tales of the Otori" is really good. I like it just as much as I expected to, possibly more. The 2nd book sounds disappointing when I describe it to people, but it was not. So very little actually happens in the book, but the Character Development is off the charts and interesting. If it were a movie, it would need to be combined into the others because not enough happens plot-wise.

I think my new sleeping schedule is causing me to have more (or remember more) dreams. Which is unfortunate, as they all have the same general theme. I guess I miss the comfort of having a woman in my life, someone to share my thoughts with and to trust. Aside from my lawyer, who has earned my trust extremely well, I don't fully trust anyone around me anymore. Not that they are untrustworthy, I am just not 100% comfortable giving people all of the information at hand. I dont know, I just feel alone in all of this.

Nicole is, once again, making things difficult. I am not sure how she thinks she can get away with agreeing to a Court Order for child support and then immediatly try to worm her way out of it. If it was unaccaptable, why are we hearing about it after she agreed to it? That, in itself, is unacceptable. She just wishes to cause me headaches, all its done is force me to decide that this will all be going through Child Support Enforcment. I will still have to deal with her directly for reimbursment of Daycare and such expenses that she will owe me, but Support Enforcement will take the money for Child Support and Back Child Support out of her Paychecks and Tax Refunds.

I would prefer we could work this out between the two of us, in fact I have tried to work all of this out between her and I directly this whole time until I got so afraid of what she was going to do that I finally went to see a lawyer and filed for Divorce and filed a restraining order. Now she wants to be a bitch because of the restraining order too, even though it didn't DO ANYTHING TO HER AT ALL. It didnt prevent her from doing anything as long as she wasn't planning to take the children in secret, which she says she wasnt. It didnt prevent her from seeing them or anything. The restraining order only prevented her from leaving the state of Washington with the boys. And once the hearing happened, the Restraining Order was simply dropped.

Her lack of understanding, her ability to reason, her wanting to blame all of her problems and the results of all of her bad actions on others... I am quite done, I cant wait for this to be over.

Time to look to the future, find someone different for me on the horizon.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Dinner Time

Had a decent day at work, we have been having tons of IS problems the last few days and it has really been bogging us down.

I started reading a new book, its called "Across the Nightengale Floor" by Lian Hearn. Its kind of set in an ancient japanese style setting (thought it isnt meant to be Japan, just similar), fantasy elements like Ninja Magic and such are involved. It sounds like a really cool series.

Anyway, I am off to make some Speghetti.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Games Games and More Games

While I was at work today I started thinking fondly of playing board games with my boys. Its so much fun to just sit down as a family and be able to do something like that together now. Actually what I was really thinking of was Jadon's sportsmanship... lol.

I'll be leaving this thursday to drive down and get the boys. Another long trip ahead of us, we will drive from here to Boise this time, then probably head straight down to Salt Lake City to meet Nicole by 10am on Friday. Then we will go straight back to Boise and take a nap at my Uncle's place before we head back home.

4 more days :-D

I think everything is all arranged for them now, some of it I arranged right after they left though, so I am double checking everything this week to make sure. It will be so nice having them back, Im really excited.

I think Nicole will try a few more things, but with every passing moment, this custody battle seems over. I half expect my lawyer to call any time and indicate that they are ready to open up negotiations. It would really be best if we could negotiate outside of court. I tried for a long time to make that happen, but finally any communication between Nicole and I was impossible. I am glad she and I can talk again, all we talk about is the boys anyway! :-)

I met someone new online! She seems really nice, she has a cute little boy that is about 6 months younger than Tristan.

Well, I am going to go. I've got some laundry to do and a few more things to do to the boys' room before they come home.


Sunday, August 5, 2007

5 More Days

5 more days..

Not too Shabby really. I'll be seeing my kids again in just 5 days.. Brings a smile to my face just to say it. Though I have a lot to finish up in preperation for their arrival.

I watched the movie "The Messengers" last night, it was better than I expected, I liked it. Tonight I will probably watch Zodiac. This Netflix subscription has been worthwhile, always kept fresh stuff for me to watch while the kids were gone. I will probably be cancelling it soon though, once the kids are back we will have plenty to keep us busy!

Since the kids left I focused mostly on TV shows with Netflix, I watched both seasons of Dead Like Me, the first season of Entourage and 3 seasons of The Sopranos. Might try to watch the second season of Entourage before the week is out.

I finished Steven Pressfield's most recent novel "The Afghan Campaign". It was awesome! It was about Alexander the Great's 3 year war in what is now Afghanistan. He wrote this book seperatly from his other Alexander the Great novel so that he could point out and write about the similarities between our war on Terror today and Alexander's war 2400 years ago. It was very interesting.

I finished the last Harry Potter book too, I am very satisfied with how the book turned out. I am hoping to start, and possibly finish, my next book before the kids get back. I can read while they are here (in fact it makes a great example), but just not quite as often or for quite as long.

I spoke with the boys briefly today, they were all in PetSmart together. Apparently they want me to get this little puppy from there that is named Diesal. But i dont think so. I LOVE dogs, but I am not an indoor pet fan anymore, maybe in time, once I have a place of my own again. Hopefully soon.

Here is a list of songs I've downloaded most recently. Some are good, but some are just ok. I listen to music so often at work and when I work out now that I just need to start cycling stuff through that I don't like as much.

Plus I've been downloading a couple more Comedy albums for my trip to Salt Lake City at the end of the week to pick up my kids.

Just 5 more days..

Friday, August 3, 2007

Moving Forward

I am sitting here at my computer reading the newest, the last, Harry Potter book. I am really enjoying it, and I really enjoyed the book I just finished, The Afghan Campaign by Steven Pressfield. A flurry of thoughts have distracted me from reading for now.

I would continue this blog by stating that I have had an interesting day. Though now that I am typing this I believe that I would be understating the situation. I have had an interesting, and eventful, 17 months.

I have been through many down times, some of which I thought I could not handle, some of which I felt would leave me broken and alone.

I have also experienced many 'up' times as well. I have been with my children, raising them, blossoming into the father I always wanted to be for them. I have spent a lot of good time with my family, and I have been able to spend time with new young cousins like Braydon, Malachi and the freshly born Gabriel.

Strangly, through the pain and happiness, I have experienced so much more of life than ever before.

If you read my blog regularly, you will know that I am in the midst of a fairly interesting custody battle. I am not going to re-explain everything that has happened so far, but to bring you up to date quickly: I have a temporary order in place that gives me primary custody of both my Children Jadon and Tristan.

Last week, just two weeks before I get them back for the school year to start, my ex-wife's new lawyer filed some fairly alarming new items. Essentially it was a move to dismiss the parenting plan that was in place on the grounds that the court did not actually have jurisdiction over my eldest son Jadon, who is not biologically mine. Under the circumstance that they succeeded, they submitted a proposal which would replace the parenting plan for Tristan, and keep the boys together in Phoenix until the trial in september.

My lawyer indicated to me that she felt this was just a last desperate attempt before the end. I very much hoped she was correct, I trust my lawyer very much, she has more than proven her abilities.

Today was the hearing, just 1 week before I am scheduled to get the kids back. With my friends and my lawyer all certain that things would go well, my confidence was high. As everything at work seemed to start going wrong from the moment we began though, I had a feeling deep in my gut that I couldn't shake. Waves of anxiety washed over me as time grew closer and closer to when I expected to hear the result of the hearing from my lawyer.

Finally during lunch I got a call from my lawyer, not only was everything fine and going according to plan, Nicole's lawyer had spoken with Beth afterwards. Beth said she has a lot of respect for this lawyer of Nicole's and she didn't understand how she could fight so vigerously for an argument Beth knew to be false. As they spoke, beth put in the possabilty of settling this outside of court now, and also the possability of Nicole agreeing to allow me to adopt Jadon officially, since that is a much more accepted and understood form of becoming a child's parent legally.

The best part is that Nicole's lawyer indicated to Beth that she felt this was the last possible attempt they could make.

I can deal with anything. I do mean anything. But the one thing I can't deal with, or have a hard time dealing with, is not knowing something. No matter what the result of today I would have been strong and able to deal with it, good or bad. But the wait, the not knowing, that is my weakness you could say. My friends who read this, you can see it in all things in my past, when faced with answers and facts I am suprisingly capable, but when faced with questions and the unknown...

I feel very good now, victory after victory in this custody issue has made me feel nearly bulletproof. This is not good, I can not get cocky, this is far from over. But not too far.

I am not sitting idle, I am moving forward with my new life. A life that I did not ask for, did not want. But a life that I now adore as my own and my childrens. I have lived far more in the last year and a half than in the whole rest of my life. It is time to live, to work, to teach, to play. It is time to raise my children.