Thursday, July 12, 2007

Counting Down

I think the center of all my anger and frustration right now is that I feel like I am in limbo. A couple weeks ago a friend of mine sent me an email that kind of woke me up to how insensitive I was being towards those that are close to me. The world doesn't revolve around me and my problems, but its become so easy to get lost in my own little world.

There are a couple people at work that I talk to, but not really. I've been going up to visit Russ nearly every weekend. But besides that, I've been nearly comepletely alone since the boys left. Too much time to think.

Before now it really felt like this whole summer visit down in Phoenix was just starting, felt like it would never end. I've been in reasonably decent spirits since Tuesday, that was the day this summer trip was half over. Now I really feel like I am counting down until I get them back.

I am trying to set up plans with my sister-in-law to get all our kids together the weekend after the boys get back. We might plan a trip to the Pacific Science Center in Seattle, or the Aquarium. A fun family outing with the cousins together.

I think I got most things taken care of, next week when I start working the dayshift I will go over everything and make sure things are set and ready to go. Just a couple things left to do I believe.

My Grandma is fixing me a birthday dinner this Saturday, my Birthday is on Wednesday, I will be 27! Then the weekend after my Birthday I am taking a day off and going up to Coeur d'Alene for the weekend. Should be lots of fun, but I would rather just have my boys with me. That would be a happy birthday.

I just checked out my Credit Reports. My debt is about what I expected, though my Student Loans were far worse than I knew, it is kind of troubling to think about. I am looking into getting this all taken care of though, it will be a long process, years, but I need to start sometime.

I wish I wasn't so emotional, and touchy. Anytime something makes me feel bad I flip out and over-react. Its starting to become ridiculous and people are calling me out on it.

Well, anyway. I better get to bed.

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