Saturday, December 23, 2006

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I dont have too much to say, but just in case I go off on some long winded rant, I wanted to mention that My Super Ex-Girlfriend is hilarious. I just finished watching it, and now I'm going to watch Rudy.

So Christmas is just a few days away. I just don't feel it. Christmas is a special time of year, not just for me but for most Americans. I've always loved Christmas, and this is the first time I haven't felt that magical feeling that comes with every holiday season.

I felt it, for a moment, just the other day. It passed. My kids have learned to sing some Christmas Carols, and I was feeling a little down about Christmas when they suddenly broke into song. It was a great feeling, an amazing feeling.

Family is important. It means so much to me that the kids are here, where I grew up, especially during the Holiday season.

Family is just a word to some people, but it has meaning to me and its important that it holds the same meaning for my children. Thier mother thinks she understands that, but she does not; She couldn't. She just didn't live the same life I lived, she doesnt value the family she has the way I do, and she threw our family away so quickly. She has a new family now, a family no one knows, and I doubt her knew family knows her.

When I first found out she was with someone else, I admit, I fell apart a bit. During the first 2-3 weeks after I found out, I managed to upset most of her family, some of them are still upset with me too. Ive made tremendous steps with the kids though, and I think that even though her family is upset with me, they understand what the boys and I are going through.

Ive lost a lot of heart in the last month though. Doesn't help that it was my busiest month of the year. Im writing this blog, to tell everyone, especially myself, that I am not going to give up. I'll never give up. I love my kids, and Im going to be the best father that they could ever have. Ill give them that feeling of a family that loves and supports them.

Ill give them Christmas, because to me, that symbolizes everything I love about family, friends and togetherness.

I may not feel the magic now, but I will. Ill feel it again, Ill feel everything again. And Ill show my kids how to love and survive.

Your Daddy loves you boys.

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Well I just saw Beerfest, that movie was freakin hilarious! I Loved it. I would have to say it was definatly their best movie so far, with Supertroopers coming up a close second.

I would have to say that it isnt the writing that got funnier, its their movie making. I think their experience is starting to show, super troopers proved they had the material, now they have the experience to back it up on screen.

I titled this 'Christmas' because I am frustrated with my life right now and Christmas is just going to show me why.

I dont know what Nicole's issue is, she called and told me today that she probably wont be able to come for christmas and that she will try to come afterwards. Which is just sucky, Ive already told the kids that she is coming, she wasnt going to be able to be here on Christmas Day, but it was going to be just a couple of days before. Christmas will be over by the time she comes now.

She said it was because the price went up for Tickets, but I just checked and the price Dropped $120 from last week. Its still way expensive compared to regular times of the year, but she was buying the ONE ticket to avoid the cost of buying FOUR tickets, so in theory this was supposedly the cheaper way for her to have christmas anyway.

The stupid part about it is that I have been reminding her about it. And not like just last week, Ive been talking to her about Christmas since the End of October. I have been pushing her to figure it out and once she did I reminded her constantly that she needed to buy the tickets early.

So when does she try to buy them? 10 days before she is supposed to be here. She said she is sorry and that she knows she made a mistake, but thats crap. Its not a situation where you can say "Oops I forgot", Ive been reminding her for the last 6 weeks or more. Christmas is an important family holiday, now its just another casualty of her selfish quest that forces 3 of the 4 of us down paths that will hurt us.

And she wants us to be friends, she doesnt even freakin listen to me. Last week I wasnt sure if we could ever be friends because we always fight, but even if we can find a way to get along, I cant talk to her without starting to feel upset inside, which tends to surface in the end of our conversations. Even if she can stop freaking out on me, Im still not sure I could ever move down there and be around her all the time. Sometimes I can barely talk to her now, and the two times I have been around her in the last 8 months have been very painful.

Tuesday, December 5, 2006


I would just like to start out by saying that Nicole is driving me freaking crazy. Her emotional ups and downs kill me. Things always seem to go well as far as us cooperating, but then she always brings it down somehow, and then finds a way to blame me for it.

I tell you, she makes this break easier everyday. But everyday it gets more and more complicated as far as the children and where I am going to live is concerned.

She says she wants to be my friend, and she used to be one of the best friends Ive ever had, but Ive never been betrayed so deeply by anyone before... and sometimes, maybe always, she doesnt even think she has done anything wrong.

Anyway, I dont want this blog to turn into a regular rant about my soon-to-be ex.

To change the subject, Clerks II is awesome. Freakin hilarious. "Dude, their not Gay their Hobbits" one of the best lines in the history of cinema. As far as fond memories with Nicole go, that was one of them. Nicole and I sitting in the theater watching The Return of the King. One of us mentions how gay the hobbits are at the end of the movie, and as that 'going away' boat scene goes, it gets pretty gay. We were dying trying not to make noise laughing in the theater.

I signed up for the movie pass at Blockbuster, wasnt doing really well with mail in services, and I pass by blockbuster all the time anyway. It helps that there is an awesome girl there that I could possibly talk to forever. [<------- Until she got in trouble for that anyway ------->]

So let me update that list of movies I put up last week:
Nov 28
Superman Returns (done)
Clerks II (done)
Superman II - The Richard Donner Cut
The Ant Bully (done)

Dec 5
Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest (next)
Miami Vice
Beerfest (next)
Pulse (new)

Dec 12
Talladega Nights
World Trade Center
Fox and the Hound 2

Dec 19
Lady in the Water
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
A Scanner Darkly

Dec 26
Jackass - Number Two
The Descent

Jan 2
Snakes on a Plane
The Covenant

Jan 9+
The Illusionist

So its looking pretty good so far. We rented Clerks 2 today, and The Goonies. First time the kids have seen it, Jadon LOVED it. He searched for hidden treasure with his mock 'treasure map' off and on the rest of the night. They both Love Pirate movies, thats why I am getting the new one out tommarow. When the movie came out in theater they had toys at McDonalds, and one of them was a pirate bandanna. The boys love to wear them still too, with thier red capes that someone made for them.

I guess I should explain the title as some point before the end of my blog. I just saw the preview for the movie Fanboys and it looks freakin hilarious. It was one of the previews on the Clerks II DVD. Im still watching it and Im at the point in the movie that is the most strange. The weird dance number.

In 'news' today, found out my friends Russ & Yvonne are not having a girl named Ava, but in fact, a boy named Gabriel. In about 10 years, russ and I will have populated our own gaming league. Not that Ava couldnt have been a gamer I suppose.

Anyway, ive been sitting at the cursor for 20 min. watching the Donkey Show in Clerks II, so I guess Ive ran out of things to say. For Now.

Later All